31 October 2010

Fight Club - A Lesson To Live

Yesterday, late night, I was watching one of my favourite film starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, once again! It's an adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's literary novel of the same name; FIGHT CLUB.  I still have to read the novel though. By the way, the film is considered one of the best adaptations of a novel.

This film / novel is a piece of art which makes you think about deeper issues of our lives. I think you should read the novel or watch the film if ..... :
  • If you're a common man 
  • If you're trapped in the fake reality of security
  • If you think culture is a phenomenon to fuck your happiness
  • If you're living in a world with shit load of material possessions that you don't know why you bought?
  • If you have been 'educated' in schools then colleges then B-schools (Is there really value addition in your life)
  • If your life has been 'guided' in a pattern that lives of our parents have been, i.e. go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, be a loving parent, educate your kids, ask them to study well and get a job and get married and ........ you know the cycle continues.
  • If you're working for some corporation with bosses hovering like eagles waiting for the right moment to peck some flesh off you. (and if you're not, eventually most of you will)
  • If you have lost the 'real you'
  • If you want to be free.
The novel / film appeals a lot to men because the issues discussed is very close to their heart and all men understand it without exchanging a single word. Women may never understand it. 

The novel / film will enlighten us of our entrapment by vicious corporations. I somehow felt that its a direct slap on American capitalism. It's a slap on the readers / viewers face for being a moron and leading a pathetic life where we feel we're in control, but actually are not. It will make you realise that only when you accept that you're going to die, than will you really start living. 

There's a fantastic scene where Brad Pitt pulls out a guy working in some restaurant and points a gun at his head and asks him what he wants to do in life? He replies, he wanted to be a veterinary doctor. Brad Pitt takes his license and lets him go and tells him that he'll check on him in 6 weeks whether he is on his way to achieve his dream or not. If he isn't, he'll kill him! The poor guy runs and the next scene shows Brad's empty pistol! And then he tells Edward Norton that, that next day's breakfast will be the poor guy's tastiest breakfast, ever! He will learn to live! (Only after disaster can we be resurrected)

The basic premise is one needs to hit the abyss to rise up to the highest point. Unless you haven't lost everything, you will never know your true potential. The lower you'll fall, the higher you'll fly.

The film is very very intelligent and appeal to people  who think on their own and can question the status quo. If you are one of the kind, where you never question and do what you have been told, avoid the film and the novel, as you will not understand it and get a rude shock!

It has some quotes which will hit you as bad as a guy being hit by a speeding truck! I'm leaving you with a set of quotes which I feel, will make you think and hopefully read the novel or watch the film.
  • We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
  • Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes. Working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we dont need.
  • You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world. 
  • You do the little job you're trained to do. Pull a lever. Push a button. You don't understand any of it, and then you just DIE.
  • Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need.
    • At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.
    • Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.
    • You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.
    • If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't. 
    • The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.
    • Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer.
    • Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.
    • You know, the condom is the glass slipper (like Cindrella story) of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away. The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.
    • We don't have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. We have a spiritual depression.
    • The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.
    • This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
    The best one from the novel is the last
    • Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.


    30 October 2010

    Why Women Want Commitment And Men Dread It ???

    In a relationship the woman wants commitment and the man dreads from the big ‘C’ (commitment). There are a lot of ‘relationship experts’ who have hundreds of cure for men to turn from commitment-phobic to commitment devotee, but none works. The men have just one problem with the women, that is, commitment.

    Commitment to one woman doesn’t exist in a man’s dictionary! We men are admirers of ‘women’, not ‘a woman’, though there are some exceptions where the man commits himself to a woman right from the start. The majority of the men, however, just accept sticking to one woman, quite late.

    Men are labeled dogs because they hop from one woman to another time and again. We are pure admirers of beauty; we just can’t resist the womankind. Besides, if the man leaves a woman for another woman, then the woman should blame the woman! Competition is always there. It’s not the man’s fault! We are weak creatures. We are either in search of new adventures (men who actively search for new women) or just plain curious (when a woman approaches us).

    Anyway, enough of this stupid justification! Why are men the way they are? Why are women the way they are? I have a simple answer!

    A girl grows up to be a woman with stories of a (mark it’s ‘a’) prince charming on a white horse who will sweep her off the feet and they’ll live happily ever after in their magical kingdom. Right?

    The story for the boys is a little twisted!

    A boy grows up to be a man with stories of Casanova stealing the hearts of so many women. (Please mark, its ‘women’) For a man, Hugh Hefner (Playboy founder) is the ultimate MAN!!! (For obvious reasons – Playboy mansion full of young girls strutting in their birthday suits!!! It can’t better than this) Men all over the world are just proud of Mr. Hef for living an ultimate man’s life! FYI, he is 80 and currently has 6 Playboy bunnies as his girlfriends with an average age of less than 20!
    So you see, the basic psychology towards the opposite gender is completely opposite! Women want one man and men can’t think of being with just one!

    So men and women, lets not blame each other! Let’s blame the society for putting stories into our head which messes us up. (: p)

    29 October 2010

    Gujjus Rock !!!

    If there is a community that laughs on itself, it is the Gujjus! They have a heart as big as their pockets and as refined as their insatiable taste buds.

    Nupur, who blogs about them is a Gujju herself. She has written extensively on the irritating habits of the community and how she dislikes the habits. But I feel, Gujjus all over the world need to be saluted for their valour, for facing constant criticisms!

    • Yes, they are loud!
    • Yes, they have a funny twang which can even be identified by the aliens! Sample this - Eminem kya rape (rap) karta hai?
    • Yes, the men wear such clothes that Govinda seems like a style icon!
    • Yes, their food is sweet, including bitter gourd (karela)!
    • Yes, they TALK TOO MUCH, including the men!

    But, that's their USP. Al Ries and Jack Trout said 'Differentiate or Die', the Gujjus knew it before marketing gurus like Ries and Trout! Think about it! At any given chance, we can spot a Gujju correctly 90% of the time with the help of their cues, a few of which I stated above. [ Click here for an extensive list by Nupur (I'm waiting for the goody bag for publicising you :P ) ] That's what makes them so special.

    You can't ignore them, they are everywhere!!! EVERYWHERE you go! I remember going to Matheran with a friend, and more than 80% of the visitors there, were Gujjus! How do I know for sure? Simple. They talk everywhere they go, in Gujju and LOUDLY!

    They are an innately funny people. I don't know whether they know this or not. Let me give you a small proof how funny they are.

    "Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmaa" is rated the best comedy show since 2 years (!!!!!) and viewers find Daya bhabhi just awesome. (I hardly watch TV so I could just seen 2-3 episodes ever since the show is on air. Daya bhabhi truly rocks)

    A family full of dazed, stupid and moronic people, with no common sense made us laugh for 2 seasons. Remember Hansaa and Praful from "Khichdi". Damn! They were stupid but we loved them because they were Gujjus. They were so good that their presence was sorely missed and they were exalted to the silver screen recently.

    And how many times have we seen the re-runs of "Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai"? Do I have to say the words?

    Kal Ho Naa Ho had an entire Gujju sequence in the movie, which I have heard, is often played at Gujju get togethers and weddings! Also, picture the sequence where Satish Shah, playing Saif Ali Khan's father takes him to a strip club and when Saif asks "Papppaa, suu karuu che?" and Shah replies, "Naangii ladki jo-uu che!" Who can be funny even in a strip club? Gujjus!

    Kareena Kapoor in the biggest Indian blockbuster 3 Idiots immortalized their snacks. (Remember, Tum Gujarati kitne sweet hotay ho naa! Par tumhare khaane ke naam itne ajeeb kyun hotay hain? Khakdaa, Faafda. Aaj Bush ne Iraq par dhoklay gira diye...lol)

    I say, Gujjus are fun and second to none :)

    P.S.: Nupur, what do you have to say? (: P)

    25 October 2010

    Political Parties - A Joke

    Off late a dear friend, Mihir, is getting a bit perturbed about my constant rants on a political party called Shiv Sena (SS). Let me clarify that I don’t intent to hurt anyone’s sentiments.

    So, this is for all of the readers. I don’t hate the SS in particular. I don’t hate any political party. It would be really tough for anyone to believe it, but I usually don’t hate people or anything. There’s only one person that I have managed to ‘hate’ and that is ‘myself’, for acting moronic regularly and screwing around other people’s happiness quite regularly, mistakenly off course!

    It’s just that with my new found perspective, I find all the political parties jocular. It’s better to laugh about stuff than to be angry.

    The SS has been hogging the media limelight in the past few weeks regularly and has taken the ‘top of mind’ position in the grey matter inside my cranial cavity. So it got obvious that most of my chatter was about this one party. I’ll ensure that if any of my upcoming posts features a political party, I gave due respect to all and babble on equally, not just any one party. (But somehow the SS has become the pet peeve of Mumbaikars, so maybe I gave them the extra coverage)

    The Congress has proved itself as a gaffe prone party courtesy the Delhi CWG 2010 whereas I try to find gaffes for other parties and try to look at them in a jovial light.

    Hope you like what you read, if not share my enthusiasm.

    24 October 2010

    Who Am I......???

    I was just thinking the multiple roles we play in our daily lives subscribing to particular cliques due to some commonality we all share. How playing these roles have fucked us up even more as individuals as we have lost our true identity and are all part of some herd! What I mean by this is that we quickly become a part of some random group because we have some trait or own some common thing or the likes. 

    Do we really know what we truly are?

    Just listing down some of my herd titles!
    • I'm an Asian
    • I'm an Indian
    • I'm a Maharashtrian
    • I'm a Bombay-ite (Screw the SS, I won't call my self a Mumbaikar)
    • I'm a suburban-ite becasue I stay in Andheri.
    • I'm a male
    • I'm a 'straight' male
    • I'm a Muslim
    • I'm a Sunni Muslim
    • I'm an Aquarian
    • I'm an Ayubi 
    • I'm a HMPS-ite (School HMPS)
    • I'm an MMK-ite (College)
    • I'm a Rizvi-ite (B-School)
    • I'm a PG-A guy of 2008-10 batch at Rizvi
    • I'm a Marketing 
    • I'm a Nokia guy
    • I'm a Honda bike guy
    • I'm a Maruti Suzuki guy
    • I'm a Shah Rukh Khan's acting hater
    • I'm a Shah Rukh Khan's achievement lover
    • I'm an Aamir Khan admirer
    • I'm a Johnny Depp follower
    • I'm a Hollywood lover
    • I'm a Bollywood lover
    • I'm part of 'x' company
    • I'm a Dell guy
    • I'm a Sony (TV) guy
    • I'm a Brut Guy
    • I'm a Pepe guy
    • I'm a Jockey guy
    • I'm a Whirlpool guy
    • I'm an omnivore who doesn't eat pork
    • I'm myopic
    • I'm a brown guy
    The above list was made in less than 5 minutes. If I sit for another hour the list, I'm sure it would run a few more bullet points. 

    The point is we would not battle an eyelid to be part of some group. If there are 5 people sitting and 4 of them own a Nokia phone, they would screw the one guy who owns, say, a Samsung. Same way we are 'straight' and wouldn't mind killing a 'homosexual's' happiness!

    So, do we know who we really are? Can you ask that question and come up with an original answer where you alone belong?


    21 October 2010

    MBA - Bad Career Choice???

    PLEASE SEE THE 1 MINUTE CLIP and then read ahead.

    Few weeks ago a friend put up the link to the above video on his status update on GTalk. 

    Although it talks about grad students and Ph.D's, the crux of the joke is on people who have studied too much with an expectation to earn a lot of money, but fail to do so!

    Being an MBA (why? why? why?) I really felt a severe pinch after watching the clip. Look at us MBAs, we call ourselves suavely educated and can't land up even decent paying jobs (forget hi flying jobs) 

    This further reminded me of a talk I listened by Sir Ken Robinson, an educator. (link to his video) It is peppered with doses of fantastic humour. 

    I have put the excerpts of the talk for the people who feel watching the video is not feasible for them.

    • It's really true where he says that education today produces 'cogs for wheels', not the 'driver of the cart'. He delves into the world history education system and concludes that the education system today is imparting the us the wrong education. The way we are educated is archaic and will produce unhappy individuals.It came into existence to meet the need of industrialism in the 18thcentury when there were no public education systems.
    • Creativity is OUR future
    • He mentions that we dont know how the world will look in 5 years time. and the children who are educated today will retire in 2065..we are teaching them today's methods for a future that we have no idea for!
    • Creativity is as important in education as literacy and we should treat it with the same status.
    • If you're not prepared to be wrong, you can never come out with anything original and by the time we are adults, most kids have lost that capacity!
    • We have become frightened to be wrong because we stigmatize mistakes. The result is that we are educating people out of their true capacities.
    • All children are born artists. the problem is to remain one as we grow up, if we dont grow into creativity, we grow out of it!
    • Every eduction system in the world has the same hierarchy of subjects.
    1. Maths and Sciences
    2. Languages
    3. Humanities
    4. Art
    • Hierarchy in Human Arts
    1. Art
    2. Music
    3. Drama
    4. Dance
    • There isn't an education system in the world which teaches dance everyday to children the way we  teach them maths! WHY NOT?
    • UNESCO report states that in the next 30 years more people, worldwide will be graduating through education since the beginning of known history.  SUDDENLY DEGREES AREN'T WORTH ANYTHING. It's a process of academic inflation. It indicates the whole structure of education system is shifting beneath our feet.
    • Our education system has mined our mind like how we mine the earth...for a particular commodity (minerals). We need to change!
    1. diverse.
    2. dynamic / interactive
    3. distinct
    • We need to harness our creative capacities.
    • We may not see this future, but our children will, and our job is to help them to make something of it... 

    So, tell me......................Are we there yet? When will we understand it? 

    19 October 2010

    Quarter Life Crisis

    You get up everyday just to drag yourself out to earn few pennies. Everyday you ask yourself "what am I doing with my Life?" When someone asks you in an interview where do you see yourself 5 years from now, you want to tell them, "I don't know where I'll be in the next 5 days and you're asking me about 5 years!" 

    The work you do is not what you signed up for! You're scared to start at the bottom of the pyramid. You're sunk in deep self-doubt and feel you've lost the uber-confidence that you once had. 

    You want to understand what you want and what you don't, but you really don't know how to differentiate when offered an option; whether it is what you want or what you don't!

    You find what others are doing and judging yourself a bit too harshly. You have realized that you have a few boundaries. Life is indeed challenging. 

    You feel scared about the future and at times you do feel alone. You've never been more confused in your life. EVER!

    You want to stay in the comforts of the past with known faces. 

    You worry everyday about the race of life, about loans and house, about cars and insurance, about getting married and having kids, about giving them a perfect life and making a life for yourself and emerging a winner. 

    You re-evaluate all your interpersonal relationships time and again.

    Sometimes you feel the need to have sex everyday and at times you decide to take a vow of celibacy!

    You feel you're not close to your friends anymore! You have started to live in your head.

    Nostalgia is the source of all your happiness.

    Suddenly, everybody else, even the 'biggest loser' you know in your life seems to be doing better than you.

    You're secure, then feel insecure, then again secure and then again insecure and this is a constant cycle!

    A lot of you will relate to few of the above words or maybe all or maybe you want to add some more. Welcome to QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.

    We are in the best of our times and also the worst of our times. We all are trying hard to figure this out hoping that this storm passes away soon!

    PEACE :)

    17 October 2010

    Mallika Sherawat to star in - Love, Gandhi


    Mallika Sherawat has announced to star in a sequel to Love, Barack. The title is ‘Love, (Rahul) Gandhi with the lead pair wrapped up in the Indian National Flag.

    As soon as the posters were put up, there was a furore. This correspondent captured the best sentiments amongst all.

    • A women's group came ahead "Mallika Sherawat, Haay Haay! Kapde utaar ke desh ki chaadar, nahi chalegi, nahi chalegi!! Haay-haay Haay-haay".
    • Mallika was served a legal notice by a PIL guy. He said, "Mallika Sherawat has got no right to use the national flag as her bed sheet! We'll sue her. Besides if she uses it as a sheet, why are her legs out? Had her legs been covered, we wouldn't have taken legal action!”
    • A political party in Mumbai takes out a morcha and tears the posters on the wall. They tear the posters off the multiplex. Vandalize the property. Shout slogans in her building compound and burn her effigy with a poster of Emraan Hashmi!!! A party worker says, "It’s all because of Emraan Hashmi! If he hadn't kissed Mallika in Murder, her first film, she wouldn't have dared to be a bombshell! The correspondent corrects him by saying Khwahish was her first film with 17 kisses! He says, "We don't care. Along with her, Emraan Hashmi is answerable. Also the entire Mahesh Bhatt clan!!!!!  We're doing it in the interest of the state. We demand that the name of the film is changed and our leaders name is in the title and our party's flag is used as a bed sheet! Why should Gandhi get the free publicity? He is already famous! We have to toil to be in the news every now and again. Vandalizing property is so passe, we want to be 'innovative' now!"
    • Rajat Sharma calls Mallika in his channel's court room and questions her, "Aap pe janata ka yeh aarope hai...
    • Censor Board is questioned how could they allow the producers to go ahead with an "offensive" poster? Censor Chief Sharmila Tagore and the entire board, goes ‘underground’!!!
    • Saif Ali Khan and Soha Ali Khan are offended because he can't meet his mother! Kareena Kapoor says, "I hate Mallika for what she has made our family go through!"
    • The producers change the poster and replace the Indian Flag with a plain white silk bed sheet with a written permission from the "Silk Producers' Association of India" and the "White Colour's Meaning Manual Committee for Not Offending The White Colour Lovers"!!!
    The film is expected to open to packed houses in the entire country.
    • Mallika Sherawat maybe signed as the host of Bigg Boss 5.
    • Mallika Sherawat may get a 'special' Filmfare award for her bravado.
    • Rahul Gandhi may call up Mallika Sherawat for a dinner party hosted in her 'honour'. The entire political world might appreciate her 'acting skills'. 
    • The Congress Party may offer her a ticket for Rohtak, Haryana; her home town. She might win the election and become an Indian MP.

    Now tell me, which other country can have so much fun over a film's poster. WE'RE LIKE THIS ONLY!!! ;)

    15 October 2010

    Driving with the brakes on!

    You want to drive at full speed. You have a Ferrari at your disposal. You are in the driver's seat. You switch on the ignition, shift the gears and accelerate. But the brakes are on! Vroooom??? Naaaaa! No matter how hard you press the accelerator, you aren't going to move ahead. 

    The above illustration will explain you a quote I remember. It's a quote which is ingrained in my memory because  it is philosophical. The quote goes...

    Going through life with a conscience is like driving your car with the brakes on

    Now recollect some of the 'achievers' that you have read about or know. They have  twisted their morals and values to move ahead in society. Be it  businessmen, sportsmen, performers, artists, etc. etc. etc. 

    Some business examples which are publicly quoted are Reliance Industries founder Dhirubhai Ambani, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates or Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (who allegedly cheated 3 of his Harvard seniors Cameron Winklevoss, Tyler Winkevoss and Divya Narendra by misleading them into believing that he would help them build a social network called HarvardConnection.com, while he was instead using their ideas to build a competing product, i.e. Facebook)   

    Think of the people in your social circle who have made it 'big in life' but are always talked about how they 'worked their way around'. 

    I do not say everybody does it. I say most of the people choose to do it because it's the easy way to rise up the (economic and/or social ) ladder! 

    Because of this thing called conscience I have lost few friends because I 'came out clean' to them after a fuck up. Looking at it the other way, I think, maybe, they were never friends at all!

    Conscience will help you to be a good human being and will let you have good people around you. It won't help you to make money or rise the ladder in the society we live in. So choose what you want to be. 

    To be very candid, I for one want to be a twisted guy, but I can't be! I'm still confused what to choose (because of my conscience. Probably!)

    13 October 2010

    The Hypocrite Gene


    A lot of us like to label people, but the most popular label is 'hypocrite'. The Merriam-Webster Online dictionary defines hypocrite as 'a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings'.

    So how many hypocrites we know? The answer, I'm sure is, a lot! Everybody is a hypocrite except ourselves, our parents, our families and close friends. Right. If you feel this way, YOU TOO ARE A HYPOCRITE!

    My theory is all human beings, men and women alike, have hypocrisy ingrained in their cores. The only difference is 'some people are more hypocritical than others'. We all have The Hypocrite Gene.

    So next time when we point fingers at others that he or she is a hypocrite, I suggest look we look into ourselves first. There are many instances that we have behaved hypocritically. It's just that when we do it, we don't remember. Why? Because you always remember 'who threw the muck at you'.

    So without your permission I have administered you the red pill and brought you out of your blissful ignorance of illusion to embrace the painful truth of reality. 

    I'm sure some researcher some day will single out The Hypocrite Gene! 

    P.S.: The title of the post has been inspired by evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins' path breaking book The Selfish Gene.  

    12 October 2010

    Midnight's Learning - On Entrepreneurship

    Continuing from where I left, our discussion moved to entrepreneurship.

    On a lazy noon after lunch Mustafa went to have a paan at a paan shop near his office and being an Ayubi, started chatting with the affable bhaiyyaji. Following are the excerpts:

    Mustafa(M): How is business bhaiyya-ji?

    Paanwaala(P): Business is as usual, nothing great.

    M: It's good to have your own business. You are your own boss!

    P: You feel so. Maybe. But not for me. I have a family to support in Mumbai. I live hand to mouth. I can't even think of taking a day off, come rain or shine. You know on a box of 20 cigarettes of a Classic Mild I just make 6 rupees! 

    (now comes the management lesson from the bhaiyya-ji)

    Beta-ji, never get into a business where you are a commission agent. You'll have to rely on volumes to earn big money. If you want to make money,  produce (manufacture or service) something on your own, then you'll keep the cream for yourself! 

    And we read management theory from text books and lectured by morose professors to learn it. 

    As the night progressed we were discussing about our experiences since we started working. 

    I happened to meet an entrepreneur who studied in vernacular medium, migrated from a small town and started his life in Mumbai as a daily wage worker. Today he heads and owns a company whose turnover has exceeded Rs. 1 billion and is a niche player in the market he operates! After a 2 hour meeting with him, I took home only one lesson. There is only one trait, just ONE trait which an entrepreneur needs to startup, RISK TAKING ABILITY. Rest all are crap!

    In his words, I'd conclude. 
    Aamir life mein sirf daring karne ka, risk lene ka!

    Why a Guy would want to remain a Guy

    I have been following Nupur's blog since quite sometime. Recently she re-posted an old post Why a Guy Would Want to be a Girl. 

    This is what I have to say that 'Why a Guy would want to remain a Guy'. My post is not as exhaustive as her's for the simple reason, that guys are minimalistic and most guys will swear by the points mentioned below.

    • We don't care a shit about sophistication.
    • We don't have to wear MAKE UP to look good. A simple grooming session of shaving, bathing, decent clothing and perfume suffices
    • In terms of choices for Clothes, life is simple for us.
    • For us there are only 7 basic (rainbow) colours in the world. Peach is and will always be a fruit!

    • We love to FART. (till we die and every MAN swears by its entertainment value) 

    • We enjoy BURPING (and can compete during any life stage to enjoy ourselves)

    And the Best for the Last
    • We can scratch WHEREVER and WHENEVER and  it itches!
    Even James Bond does it! 

    11 October 2010

    Midnight's Learning - On Passion and Aim

    This past Saturday night, my cousin Mustafa came to stay over. So from midnight till 2am we were chatting about things that we need to learn from other people's lives, so that we save that extra effort, which if learnt via other's experiences will save us the time but impart us the same learning!

    Mustafa opened his heart to me about passion. He said, "You are passionate about reading and writing and Rushabh (Turakhia) is passionate about technology. I don't know what I'm passionate about?" 

    I feel passion arises from interest. My interest was always in activities which required no dependency on other human beings' participation. Since a young age I delved into books. I remember my father buying 'The Book of Virtues' by William Bennett (over a good 500 pages) when I was 12 or 13 years old. Also, I have to credit my father for my writing skills as I started writing original words when I used to write letters to him when he was working in the gulf. International phone calls were super expensive in those days. Writing letters had a spill over effect on my essays in English class in school. 

    And since then I have invested a lot of time, energy and money in my interest, which today is my passion. 

    Knowing Mustafa, I feel he is as lost as me! He wanted to discuss about finding our place in this world rather than passion, because I know that music his passion; which he probably doesn't  feel! (Mustafa, you may correct me if I'm wrong)

    Our discussion moved from passion to purpose. We discussed how we don't know what to do in life. What is our aim in life? What skills are we good at? He said, that his mind is wavering. He wants to do so many things and doesn't know what to do and more importantly, when to do?

    I shared my secret with him. I feel that I can be a great photographer, film maker, writer, artist, businessman, orator, etc. etc. To which he too shared that he has many 'ideas' of a profession in mind. 

    I feel, at this stage of our lives we feel that we can conquer anything. We can do anything we choose to and we will succeed. So it is normal to have a thought process like that. But we also have our share of doubt and lack of an aim which bogs us down. This feeling makes us question our existence on this planet. 


    Being passionate about something helps us to lead a fulfilled personal life.
    Having an aim is half the battle (of life) won!

    10 October 2010

    A Tribute to Salman Khan

    I have practically lived on movies. They have always been part of my staple diet since gaining consciousness. I see all kinds of movies, but since the last few years, I prefer watching ‘sensible’ cinema, especially Bollywood films. And when sensible cinema is uttered, there is only one name which comes to our mind immediately, viz. Aamir Khan. I have been an ardent Aamir Khan fan for two reasons, first, his talent and the second that I share my name with the super star.

    I have never been a Salman Khan fan. I find him too stiff to be an actor. Acting as well as dancing seems to be an arduous task for our desi ‘mini hulk’. (As he is just 5’9”) I remember watching the 1999 Filmfare awards where he was honored with a Best Supporting Actor award for Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Manoj Bajpai was amongst the nominees for his immortal portrayal of Bhiku Mhatre in the cult film Satya. During Salman Khan’s acceptance speech he mentioned that Manoj Bajpai can win another award, but for him it will be very tough in the future. This showed that Salman Khan was aware of his shortcoming in the acting department. The only film to be an exception where he genuinely performed well and received critical acclaim was Tere Naam. (Salman Khan made me cry in this film. Usually when he cries on screen, I tend to laugh)

    Today I saw Dabanng and Salman Khan has earned a zealous fan in me!

    After watching Dabanng, I realized the Salman Khan aura. Why he has so many fans? Because he is what he is! That’s all I could think of.

    His imperfect ‘bhaiyya’ dialect, his poor dialogue delivery, his super stiff dance, his Rajnikanth inspired Ray Ban exploits, all made me jump out of the seat and clap for him. His imperfections were appearing so perfect for Chulbul ‘Robinhood’ Pandey! Throughout the film my eyes were fixed on him. Yes, even during Munni Badnaam and even when the traditional looking beauty Sonakshi Sinha shared screen space with our Salman Khan.

    I have never felt anything like this before!

    When I watch an Aamir Khan film, I’m watching a Rancho, or a Bhuvan or a Nikumbh. But during Dabanng, it was SALMAN KHAN throughout!

    Maybe it’s his imperfection. Maybe it’s his style. Maybe it’s his characteristic.

    Now I know what it is to be a Salman Khan fan. Cheers to our Sallu bhai!

    P.S.: The script for a prequel as well as a sequel to Dabanng is ready. I really hope both of them are made. I can’t wait to see Pandey-ji once again in action. Kamaal kartein hain Pandey ji.

    09 October 2010

    The Jinx of the 18th.

    Right now Im waiting in a lobby of a company which has made me a job offer.

    Suddenly I thought of my previous interviews I had given before finally landing a job. During my 4th semester I was convinced that I'm made for marketing research, so I decided to sit for every marketing research firm that came to campus.

    18th February 2010 - Nielsen. Qualitative Research Profile.
    18th March 2010 - Synovate.
    18th June 2010 - Nielsen. This time ARC Analyst.

    Yes! As the title suggests, the date was jinxed, I didn't get selected for any of them. (Thankfully)

    Weird, isn't it?

    08 October 2010

    Another One Bites The Dust

    Throughout my post graduate management education, all the lecturers submerged us marketing majors with examples of brand endorsers ranging from film celebrities to sport persons ruling the roost for major brands in India.

    It was mutually agreed between the students and the lecturers that most of the endorsers have diluted their brand equity by endorsing multiple products. It's okay, if they endorse multiple products, but some of them have endorsed so many brands that it feels like they are hoarding for a foreseen economic catastrophe! It is like the end of brand endorsements for them.

    Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, Mr. Shah Rukh Khan and Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni are the endorsers with the highest number of brands under their belt. But tell me, when you switch on the TV and look at the advertisements , how many of you really wait to see the ads featuring the above mentioned gentlemen? For a change, I wont mind watching an ad with Rakhi Sawant rather than these gentlemen! They are like the house flies of brand endorsements, anywhere and everywhere, selling 'chaddi baniyans' to Hajmola to pens that they would never use in their lifetimes! GOD!

    So going back to the management education days,(not a lot of time ago) we always used to discuss how Mr. Aamir "Perfectionist" Khan chose his brand endorsement deals very carefully. He was the last man standing where his choice of brand endorsements was being discussed in management colleges. He endorsed very few classy brands like Titan and Tata Sky and Toyota.

    But off late, there has been an inundation of Aamir Khan's presence on TV. I was quite dejected to see him running the streets giving T-shirts to junk food eating people and requesting them to eat 'baked, not fried' low cal biscuits(Parle). And soon, he'll be selling motorcycles to us! Where's the fit? John Abraham and Yamaha is understood as he is a self confessed bike enthusiast.

    When Aamir Khan signed on to sell Mahindra bikes, I sang 'Another One Bites The Dust'. On the contrary should I say, 'The Last One Bites The Dust" ???


    Awaiting your comments

    03 October 2010

    A Management Tactic at the Ayodhya Verdict

    There was something interesting that I observed on the 30th September 2010 when the Ayodhya verdict was given by the Allahabad High Court.

    I left office early that day and reached home at around 2pm. I usually loathe news channels, especially Hindi ones. (Do I need to give a reason other than sensationalism?) And amongst the English ones, I stick to CNN-IBN first, simply because of Mr. Rajdeep Sardesai, and then Times Now or NDTV. And apart from these three, I feel no other general news channel actually deserves to be called a news channel. They are not even 'views' channel, for Christ's sake!

    On switching on the TV, I straight away jumped to CNN-IBN and was not surprised to see Mr. Rajdeep Sardesai heading the show. As the verdict was not out I started my channel surfing. (being a human male, we're used to channel surfing just to know 'what's there on the other channel?') 

    And then something struck me! All the others news (views) channels had their correspondents on the field, especially at the Allahabad court, but CNN-IBN didn't have a correspondent. They had their channel's 'National Bureau Chief', a certain Mr. Bhupendra Chaubey on the field!  

    Why? I got the answer as soon as the verdict was out and the lawyer brigade emerged from the 'super secured' court room. Mr. Ravi Shankar Prasad representing one of the party to the dispute, was the first famous and qualified person to emerge from the court room, he was hounded by camera crews with his face almost shoved with microphones! (nothing new I'm sure) Every media person was stoning him with adulterated and cliche`d questions, but there stood Mr. Chaubey, with a blazer on, in the heat, asking some really simple but relevant question to him with his loud non baritone voice. And voila, Mr. Ravi Shankar Prasad, answers him by calling his first name. And for the next 10 minutes, it's only Mr. Chaubey and Mr. Prasad in a dialogue covered by the entire national media. 

    And Mr. Chaubey repeats the feat with other 'important' guests.

    This was the differentiation tactic that CNN-IBN employed. If its an issue of national importance to be covered by each and every media house of the country, send your Generals, not the pawns!

    And as usual Mr. Rajdeep Sardesai had a very eminent panel for the show, a social scientist, a Supreme Court lawyer, a liberal Muslim theatre veteran Padma Shree awardee and a very senior journalist. They were all very well versed of the Ayodhya issue. 

    I think this was a very good management tactic ployed by the channel. 


    Awaiting your comments. 

    02 October 2010

    What's in a Name?

    My colleague Apeksha, who also happens to be a batch mate from Rizvi Academy of Management once asked me a simple question during a lazy afternoon. I was bored as usual and to elate myself, was humming a silly Bollywood tune, the lyrics of which I did not know and didn't care to know.

    My revelry stood disturbed when Apeksha suddenly asked, "What if the names of people were all unique, no repetition? What if there was only one Aamir in the world? What if there was only one Apeksha? How will it work out?"

    And suddenly I spurted aloud, "Considering that there are only a handful of names in the world, we have to name ourselves as versions of softwares with a number assigned to all of us. For example 'Aamir v.17.2.85@1030IST-Mum'. I think the world would be a little more complicated."

    But this got me thinking. We all take our names for granted, don't you think so? Names are our identity and something we live our entire lives with. In our ever transient lives, our names are our permanent fixtures. (I'm not including the unfortunate people who couldn't handle the choice of names picked up by the namer, i.e. parents, relatives, grandparents, godparents, etc., a la Chiraunjilal 'Cherry' Khosla from the 2006 super comedy Khosla ka Ghosla)

    Have you ever thought the effect our names have on our personalities? I for one feel that my name has had a positive impact on my personality.