30 November 2010

Metrosexuals Are Gay!

Before I start, I would like to enlighten the reader with a few definitions. The definitions have been sourced from Wikipedia.

Heterosexuality consists of sexual behavior, practices, and identity predicated on exclusive preference or desire for the opposite sex.

Homosexuality refers to an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual or romantic attractions primarily or exclusively to people of the same sex

Metrosexual is a blend of the words metropolitan and heterosexualcoined in 1994, describing a man who displays characteristics associated with homosexual men (such as a strong concern for his appearance), although he is not homosexual. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of sex deconstruction and its associations with consumerism.

I feel that there are only two kinds of people, heterosexual and homosexual. I’m a heterosexual male who feels that homosexuals deserve their rights. But I feel that these metrosexuals are robbing our homosexual friends of their identities. How?

I want u to read the definition for metrosexuals once again, especially this part - who displays characteristics of homosexual men.

So, if there’s a straight, heterosexual man who displays characteristics of a homosexual man, is he partly gay. YES! Then that way, a metrosexual man is partly gay!

I really don’t know, why do some heterosexual males want to be metrosexuals? The definition (and if you have common sense) will tell you that it’s a cleverly disguised ploy to get a hell lot of money out of your pocket to make you,  partly homosexual (the consumerism angle). And you know what? There are men who fall for it!

Yes! You are paying your own hard earned money to be gay! (Well…partly!)

Now the men who say that metrosexuality is not being gay, I say, screw you! You’re morons who don’t think for yourselves.

In 1994, a British journalist called Mark Simpson coined this term to sell some glossy magazines to men. This fucker told you that you need to get a manicure and pedicure, to get your body and your ass waxed, to get facials, apply cream on your face, colour your hair, etc. etc. etc. And men listened. Rather, men, with money and a lot of free time, listened.

Over the period of years, marketers have convinced men that they need some cream before they get out of home. Salons are catering to men for manicure, pedicure, body and ass waxing! (I can’t tell the yucky feeling I’m getting to write all this)

With all due respect, let’s leave the above, obviously incomplete list of things for the ladies. (I’m not saying homosexuals because they are actually emulating the ladies)

The argument that I’ve heard is that metrosexuality makes a man, CLEAN. I say, fuck you! It makes a man, a sissy!

Imagine you have your kid playing with some guests at home and they ask him or her, “Where is your daddy?” And your kid replies, “Daddy has gone to the salon for a manicure and a pedicure!” How lame is that?

Marketers have filled garbage in men’s head that we men need to be ‘clean’ in a ‘metrosexual’ way to attract women. There’s a difference between cleanliness and being a sissy.

If a man takes a bath every day, (and if you sweat badly, bath twice) he is clean. If a man cuts his nails once a week, he’s clean. If a man cuts his hair once a month, he is clean. (and presentable) If a man wears washed, ironed clothes, he’s clean. If a man trims his pubic hair regularly, he’s clean. (Sorry for the last one ladies, I need to drive the point into the minds of my kind)

All I’m saying is that a man needs to be clean and hygienic. We men don’t need some company to tell us what to do and how to live our lives! 

If I’m not mistaken, looks are important for women too. But most women give more importance to other, more concerning attributes, like the man’s intelligence, his ability to hold an interesting conversation, his etiquettes, etc. (and his bank balance too :p Not always I know!)

Ladies, tell me if I’m wrong.

And if there are women who want their men waxed, I say, they are lesbian’s in their head!

There is a clear demarcation of things that only women do and should be left to them. If homosexual men do it, it’s cool. Why? Well, because they are homosexuals! But if straight men do it and proclaim that they are metrosexuals, they are definitely faggots in their heads!


  1. I so totally agree with you!!! Since the advent of the 'metrosexual' man, real men have disappeared!! And women even today want MEN not sissy guys! A waxed man is a total turn off... because a woman wouldn't want her man to have less body hair than her!! But at the same time, too much of body hair is also a turn off!
    Also for people who've seen Golmaal 3, would agree with me that the men have shown more cleavage than Kareena has....and it looked rather yucky!!!

  2. @Nupur: It feels good to get a woman's opinion on metrosexuality...

  3. I agree with you Aamir to the extent that the use of the term 'metrosexual' is more of a marketing gimmick than anything else.

    The other points, however, I can't say that I fully agree with them. I don't think a man becomes a sissy just because he gets a manicure or a pedicure. Yes, these services have traditionally been availed of by women but I personally do not find anything un-male about it if a man gets them.

    Being clean and presentable and looking nice are different things. Why would you not want to look nice? However, if someone prefers how they look and they think they look nice then, good for them.

    You are right though, there's only homesexuals and heterosexuals. Metrosexual is, I guess just a word that tries to explain the behaviour of some men who take care of their appearance more than the average male.
    I, personally, don't like stereotypes or society telling what I should and should not do. I have my own mind that tells me if something is right or wrong.

  4. ITS Mat-RO-Sexuality ...confused whom to draw attention from!
    todays man wants to be TALL-FAIR-Beautiful
    and hence uses Mardo wali fairness cream(men's fairness cream)

  5. @Mihir: I'm not saying that a man becomes a sissy if he has a manicure and a pedicure. I'm saying, he acts like one!
    Is this some subconscious way of getting back to the women because they can wear pants/shirts and we can't wear a saree/skirt? (Ignore the Scots kilt here plz, that's tradition!)?
    think about this perspective I'm putting.

    And as far as ppl like u n me are concerned, we will always think for ourselves rather than being led by some marketing gimmick!

  6. @Ram: Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed :)

  7. @Ram: yes, i did change the title...I wanted it to be more direct..hehe..

  8. "Is this some subconscious way of getting back to the women because they can wear pants/shirts and we can't wear a saree/skirt? (Ignore the Scots kilt here plz, that's tradition!)?"

    Aamir, I get your point now if that is the point you wanted to make. However, just go through your post once again thoroughly. The point you are trying to make is getting lost somewhere between your thoughts and the actual writing.

  9. @MiG: Yes I agree! But I still feel manicure and pedicure is for women and gays only :P

  10. @Aamir: Would you call Barney gay?

  11. @MiG: Yes, Barney is played by Neil P Harris who is gay and he has contributed a lot to the character'd development :P

  12. @Aamir: Oh! I didn't know Doogie was gay. But still, the character of Barney is not gay. I mean it's not an easy task to reach 200!

    So even if Doogie has contributed to the character's development, that does not support your point since we are talking about the character - Barney.

    1. This is stupid
      Did you know that up until the 20th century Men wore make up just as much as women did?
      The "Girly" Man was seen as High class while a hairy "Manly" man was seen as a peasant.
      You only see having a sense of fashion as feminine because society told you so.