3 Reasons Why Zor Ka Jhatka was Totally Wiped Out!

Zor Ka Jhatka - Total Wipeout has been 'totally wiped out' by the viewers! Here's why:

1. Pathetic programme packaging.

2. Contestants - Totally washed out contestants whom nobody wants to watch.

3. Host/Commentator - Shah Rukh Khan! WTF was he thinking to host a show like this(no guesses...it was the money). He can be a good host (KBC-2) but he is not a good commentator. 

The concept was not innovative at all. Indians have been exposed to a similar concept in the form of Takeshi's Castle on Pogo TV. And the only thing that made it popular was Javed Jaffery a.k.a. JJ! 

Takeshi's Castle got the above 3 parameters perfectly right.

1. Packaging - Just the plain video with no unnecessary added animations. Crisp Editing. Only the hilarious and painful endeavours made it to the show.  

2. Contestants were the common people. No 'known' faces. (Because it was an old show where reality shows had real people, not faded nobody's who once appeared on TV!)  

3. A concept like this requires smart commentary, not star power. JJ had us in splits with his hilarious comments. (He was not required to stand in shiny suits. His voice talent was the 'Pulled' the audience ) I still catch the re-runs on Pogo and still laugh on his comments. His commentary was the reason that people loved a stale Japanese show!

The show has not been able to garner TRPs and will soon be called a failure. I have heard the knell.

The channel 'Pushed' the show very hard and tried shoving it up by garnishing it with Shah Rukh Khan. The ever intelligent viewer just moved aside (did not watch) and the channel, itself, shoved the show into oblivion!  

TV Is For Dumbasses - Are You One?

"I'm so excited!", "It's gonna be fun now!", "Yeah! the Twins are back!" are some of the exclamations I noticed as Raghu and his other bald identical twin are back on MTV Roadies.

Why do some people love watching loser participants who get high on expletives, constant bitching, and  some dumb fuck 'tasks' that creates a false illusion of adventure? There are so many morons in the whole country who remember names of the winners of all the seasons as if it were the list of past prohphets of humanity! Ask these people about their family trees and there's a high probabilty they won't have a clue. But if you ask them which Chutiya 'winner'  won which task, they would have an instant response.

Apart from the 'tasks', is it the rudeness of the participants towards each other combined with the beeped out expletives spoken by Raghu, the TRP grabbers?

Sample this.

Raghu (to participants): Would you like to wish luck to Pappu?
Bunty: All the best Pappu. Do well.
Raghu: Bunty you dumb fuck (beep)! Chutiya (beep) hai tu, saale agar woh jeet gaya to tujhe ghantaa aage badhnay milega. Are you a fucking (beep) saint?
Bunty: Visibly perturbed. (Acting scared as if someone caught him humping his neighbour!)

WTF!!! All I feel is that when the stupidity is evident, why the beep (:D) does the viewer wants to make an ass of himself by watching a band of wannabes and a foul mouthed host.  Are people so fond of voyeurism?

And then, I stumbled on the precise answer from marketing / management guru, Seth Godin.

"The thing is, watching TV has its benefits. It excuses you from the responsibility of having an informed opinion about things that matter. It gives you shallow opinions or false 'facts' that you can easily parrot to others that watch what you watch. It rarely unsettles our carefully self-induced calm and isolation from the world."

The striking words above were part of one of Seth Godin's post on his blog. Please read the entire post for getting a perspective.

Although there is no novelty in his post and my words too, but it again re-iterates in a polite manner, that "Morons, get a life! Stop watching dumb shows on TV and do something productive with your time!"

Gujjus Rock !!!

If there is a community that laughs on itself, it is the Gujjus! They have a heart as big as their pockets and as refined as their insatiable taste buds.

Nupur, who blogs about them is a Gujju herself. She has written extensively on the irritating habits of the community and how she dislikes the habits. But I feel, Gujjus all over the world need to be saluted for their valour, for facing constant criticisms!

• Yes, they are loud!

• Yes, they have a funny twang which can even be identified by the aliens! Sample this - Eminem kya rape (rap) karta hai?

• Yes, the men wear such clothes that Govinda seems like a style icon!

• Yes, their food is sweet, including bitter gourd (karela)!

• Yes, they TALK TOO MUCH, including the men!

But, that's their USP. Al Ries and Jack Trout said 'Differentiate or Die', the Gujjus knew it before marketing gurus like Ries and Trout! Think about it! At any given chance, we can spot a Gujju correctly 90% of the time with the help of their cues, a few of which I stated above. [ Click here for an extensive list by Nupur (I'm waiting for the goody bag for publicising you :P ) ] That's what makes them so special.

You can't ignore them, they are everywhere!!! EVERYWHERE you go! I remember going to Matheran with a friend, and more than 80% of the visitors there, were Gujjus! How do I know for sure? Simple. They talk everywhere they go, in Gujju and LOUDLY!

They are an innately funny people. I don't know whether they know this or not. Let me give you a small proof how funny they are.

"Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmaa" is rated the best comedy show since 2 years (!!!!!) and viewers find Daya bhabhi just awesome. (I hardly watch TV so I could just seen 2-3 episodes ever since the show is on air. Daya bhabhi truly rocks)

A family full of dazed, stupid and moronic people, with no common sense made us laugh for 2 seasons. Remember Hansaa and Praful from "Khichdi". Damn! They were stupid but we loved them because they were Gujjus. They were so good that their presence was sorely missed and they were exalted to the silver screen recently.

And how many times have we seen the re-runs of "Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai"? Do I have to say the words?

Kal Ho Naa Ho had an entire Gujju sequence in the movie, which I have heard, is often played at Gujju get togethers and weddings! Also, picture the sequence where Satish Shah, playing Saif Ali Khan's father takes him to a strip club and when Saif asks "Papppaa, suu karuu che?" and Shah replies, "Naangii ladki jo-uu che!" Who can be funny even in a strip club? Gujjus!

Kareena Kapoor in the biggest Indian blockbuster 3 Idiots immortalized their snacks. (Remember, Tum Gujarati kitne sweet hotay ho naa! Par tumhare khaane ke naam itne ajeeb kyun hotay hain? Khakdaa, Faafda. Aaj Bush ne Iraq par dhoklay gira diye...lol)

I say, Gujjus are fun and second to none :)

P.S.: Nupur, what do you have to say? (: P)

Another One Bites The Dust

Throughout my post graduate management education, all the lecturers submerged us marketing majors with examples of brand endorsers ranging from film celebrities to sport persons ruling the roost for major brands in India.

It was mutually agreed between the students and the lecturers that most of the endorsers have diluted their brand equity by endorsing multiple products. It's okay, if they endorse multiple products, but some of them have endorsed so many brands that it feels like they are hoarding for a foreseen economic catastrophe! It is like the end of brand endorsements for them.

Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, Mr. Shah Rukh Khan and Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni are the endorsers with the highest number of brands under their belt. But tell me, when you switch on the TV and look at the advertisements , how many of you really wait to see the ads featuring the above mentioned gentlemen? For a change, I wont mind watching an ad with Rakhi Sawant rather than these gentlemen! They are like the house flies of brand endorsements, anywhere and everywhere, selling 'chaddi baniyans' to Hajmola to pens that they would never use in their lifetimes! GOD!

So going back to the management education days,(not a lot of time ago) we always used to discuss how Mr. Aamir "Perfectionist" Khan chose his brand endorsement deals very carefully. He was the last man standing where his choice of brand endorsements was being discussed in management colleges. He endorsed very few classy brands like Titan and Tata Sky and Toyota.

But off late, there has been an inundation of Aamir Khan's presence on TV. I was quite dejected to see him running the streets giving T-shirts to junk food eating people and requesting them to eat 'baked, not fried' low cal biscuits(Parle). And soon, he'll be selling motorcycles to us! Where's the fit? John Abraham and Yamaha is understood as he is a self confessed bike enthusiast.

When Aamir Khan signed on to sell Mahindra bikes, I sang 'Another One Bites The Dust'. On the contrary should I say, 'The Last One Bites The Dust" ???

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Awaiting your comments
Aamir