An Infernal Intuition

A few days ago it was announced that the very hot Ms. Malin Akerman will be replacing the notorious Ms. Lindsay Lohan in the movie Inferno after Lohan opted out citing she has to concentrate on her rehab! I feel it was the worst decision of her life. There are many bad professional decisions she has taken, but I’m sure this one would top the list. 

Inferno is a biopic of infamous pornographic actress Linda Lovelace who starred in Deep Throat, the highest grossing porn film ever. It is estimated that when the film released in 1972, it grossed over US$ 100 million. The film was then distributed by a network of Mafia family.

Deep Throat is a unique phenomenon of the pop culture of the last century.

Inferno will make an excellent worthy watch for all the viewers whether they know the history of Deep Throat or not. Just consider the points:

•     It’s a biopic of the leading lady of the most infamous X-rated movie of the last century
•     It was so famous that mainstream film audiences went to watch it
•     There is a strong mafia connection
•     Although it is said that the film made US$ 100 million, some conspiracy theories claim that the film made in the excess of US$600 million. (And this was 1970’s!)
•     A censored edition of the film was released on DVD for fans of pop culture and those wishing to own a legitimate copy of the infamous movie
•     Linda Lovelace made and changed statements that she was forced into pornography by her sadistic husband!

a. First she said that making the film was a liberating experience

b. Then she said that she was coerced to perform the scenes by being hypnotized and sometimes brandished with guns and rifles to complete the acts

c. Later she became an anti-porn activist!

These are just few of the ‘facts’ associated with the history of Deep Throat and the late Linda Lovelace.

What do you want in a film to be entertaining? It has to have a fascinating story to be told! This will definitely be a good watch. Plus, for any actor/actress, playing a real person is a high and there’s a truly immense scope of performance.  

Troubled soul Lindsay Lohan was the first choice to essay Lovelace’s role. Hollywood said that all she needs is one good film. She got one, Inferno. And she kicked it, trying to kick a habit (addiction) she can’t.

I’m not a fan of Lindsay Lohan. It’s just that I have a very keen intuition. There have been times that I’ve noticed people and knew that they would make it big. (I so want to say that about me :p) Obviously I can’t tell it now because then it would be plain stupid and unbelievable.

Once again, is my intuition telling me something?

Making Babies is India's Prime Time.

On 20^th November 2010, I read this small article in Times of India in the international section. I found it to be completely hilarious. No Indian needs to conduct a scholarly research to know that sooner or later Britain will be brown, and whites will be the fearful minority.

I say, the Britons called this wrath upon themselves. They should have never invaded India at the first place.

Yes, they ruled over us for over a couple of centuries. We had 100 Indians for 1 Briton yet we shoo-ed them away only after a couple of centuries. Had we squashed them like mosquitoes with our bare hands, we wouldn’t have had to wait for two fucking hundred years to reclaim our own land! We were a complacent lot and probably still are. But look at the flipside, had we shoo-ed them away earlier, we wouldn’t have had a Gandhi. And no Gandhi means our currency would have adorned some Maharaja or would have been without a hero. There would have been no posthumous Nobel peace prize for the man and most importantly Lage Raho Munna Bhai wouldn’t have been possible! Hehehe…

Sorry I drifted away from the topic of discussion! Let’s get back…

You see, a couple of centuries easily translate to at least 6 generations of any family. Over 6 generations of Indians’ happiness was fucked by the goraa people.  When the British left, they took everything from us and we were very angry. We had nothing to entertain ourselves with. So we started to have sex merrily. It was free entertainment! (I’m assuming only married couples here :p) We had so much sex that I can say – Making Babies became India’s Prime Time Entertainment. (and still is I guess; considering the rate we’re growing)

The case of our population was like a glass filled incessantly up to the brim and dripping continuously. And when the water overflows and falls from the glass, it spreads on the floor. The world became our floor and we started migrating everywhere. Without any scholarly research I can say that, you can find an Indian wherever you find a cockroach. Hehehe… Like cockroaches, Indians are survivors and master adapters.

We were angry that they looted us for two centuries and we couldn’t kill them even when they could have been easily outnumbered. We wanted REVENGE! Mahabharata says that revenge is the purest emotion. But revenge need not be violent. Being the students of Gandhi, we knew that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

So, we took revenge by going to Britain and fuck their happiness by doing what we do best. HAVING SEX!!! We fucked amongst us and fucked them!  And look where we have reached. Over 25% of Britain is ‘brown’ today and I’m sure we’ll be a majority before the estimated year, 2066. 

Goraas ruled over many countries but only we screwed them. You don't mess with the Indians!!! 

PORN-ification

Porn has been an influencing us in establishing norms of sexuality, even though the norms we form are overtly wrong!

It is unfortunate that all around the world, youngsters get their first idea of sexuality from porn. Porn has adverse effects on our self image, men and women both. Boys grow up to be men and dream of getting ‘porn penises’ which can defy the length of the Leaning Tower of Pisa [minus the lean off course ;)] and the women want to be 38-24-36 to attract any man! And in the end, quite a lot of people get discontented with their bodies and few of them start hating it. Some morons end up having surgery. GAWD!!!

Porn has been there for decades and growing rapidly. It is estimated that over 30% websites of the world host pornographic content and most of them give free sample images and videos.

We are all past the stage of curiosity and are mature enough to understand that porn is bad where women are objectified and, to a certain degree, the men too.

Research done all over the world has concluded that guys should get it out of their heads that length matters! (These researches are quite regularly published in the leading dailies in India). Too speak in a friend’s words, “It’s not how big you are, it’s how good you are!”

So men, get the crass out of your head! And as far as the women are concerned, I can’t comment as I really don’t know how they have been porn-ified!

P.S.: And if you can’t stop watching porn, at least reduce it. Get a hobby for Chrissake !!! (: p)