Showing posts with label Advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advertising. Show all posts

30 November 2010

Metrosexuals Are Gay!

Before I start, I would like to enlighten the reader with a few definitions. The definitions have been sourced from Wikipedia.

Heterosexual
Heterosexuality consists of sexual behavior, practices, and identity predicated on exclusive preference or desire for the opposite sex.

Homosexual
Homosexuality refers to an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual or romantic attractions primarily or exclusively to people of the same sex

Metrosexual
Metrosexual is a blend of the words metropolitan and heterosexualcoined in 1994, describing a man who displays characteristics associated with homosexual men (such as a strong concern for his appearance), although he is not homosexual. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of sex deconstruction and its associations with consumerism.

I feel that there are only two kinds of people, heterosexual and homosexual. I’m a heterosexual male who feels that homosexuals deserve their rights. But I feel that these metrosexuals are robbing our homosexual friends of their identities. How?

I want u to read the definition for metrosexuals once again, especially this part - who displays characteristics of homosexual men.

So, if there’s a straight, heterosexual man who displays characteristics of a homosexual man, is he partly gay. YES! Then that way, a metrosexual man is partly gay!

I really don’t know, why do some heterosexual males want to be metrosexuals? The definition (and if you have common sense) will tell you that it’s a cleverly disguised ploy to get a hell lot of money out of your pocket to make you,  partly homosexual (the consumerism angle). And you know what? There are men who fall for it!

Yes! You are paying your own hard earned money to be gay! (Well…partly!)

Now the men who say that metrosexuality is not being gay, I say, screw you! You’re morons who don’t think for yourselves.

In 1994, a British journalist called Mark Simpson coined this term to sell some glossy magazines to men. This fucker told you that you need to get a manicure and pedicure, to get your body and your ass waxed, to get facials, apply cream on your face, colour your hair, etc. etc. etc. And men listened. Rather, men, with money and a lot of free time, listened.




Over the period of years, marketers have convinced men that they need some cream before they get out of home. Salons are catering to men for manicure, pedicure, body and ass waxing! (I can’t tell the yucky feeling I’m getting to write all this)

With all due respect, let’s leave the above, obviously incomplete list of things for the ladies. (I’m not saying homosexuals because they are actually emulating the ladies)

The argument that I’ve heard is that metrosexuality makes a man, CLEAN. I say, fuck you! It makes a man, a sissy!

Imagine you have your kid playing with some guests at home and they ask him or her, “Where is your daddy?” And your kid replies, “Daddy has gone to the salon for a manicure and a pedicure!” How lame is that?

Marketers have filled garbage in men’s head that we men need to be ‘clean’ in a ‘metrosexual’ way to attract women. There’s a difference between cleanliness and being a sissy.

If a man takes a bath every day, (and if you sweat badly, bath twice) he is clean. If a man cuts his nails once a week, he’s clean. If a man cuts his hair once a month, he is clean. (and presentable) If a man wears washed, ironed clothes, he’s clean. If a man trims his pubic hair regularly, he’s clean. (Sorry for the last one ladies, I need to drive the point into the minds of my kind)

All I’m saying is that a man needs to be clean and hygienic. We men don’t need some company to tell us what to do and how to live our lives! 

If I’m not mistaken, looks are important for women too. But most women give more importance to other, more concerning attributes, like the man’s intelligence, his ability to hold an interesting conversation, his etiquettes, etc. (and his bank balance too :p Not always I know!)

Ladies, tell me if I’m wrong.

And if there are women who want their men waxed, I say, they are lesbian’s in their head!

There is a clear demarcation of things that only women do and should be left to them. If homosexual men do it, it’s cool. Why? Well, because they are homosexuals! But if straight men do it and proclaim that they are metrosexuals, they are definitely faggots in their heads!



08 October 2010

Another One Bites The Dust

Throughout my post graduate management education, all the lecturers submerged us marketing majors with examples of brand endorsers ranging from film celebrities to sport persons ruling the roost for major brands in India.

It was mutually agreed between the students and the lecturers that most of the endorsers have diluted their brand equity by endorsing multiple products. It's okay, if they endorse multiple products, but some of them have endorsed so many brands that it feels like they are hoarding for a foreseen economic catastrophe! It is like the end of brand endorsements for them.

Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, Mr. Shah Rukh Khan and Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni are the endorsers with the highest number of brands under their belt. But tell me, when you switch on the TV and look at the advertisements , how many of you really wait to see the ads featuring the above mentioned gentlemen? For a change, I wont mind watching an ad with Rakhi Sawant rather than these gentlemen! They are like the house flies of brand endorsements, anywhere and everywhere, selling 'chaddi baniyans' to Hajmola to pens that they would never use in their lifetimes! GOD!

So going back to the management education days,(not a lot of time ago) we always used to discuss how Mr. Aamir "Perfectionist" Khan chose his brand endorsement deals very carefully. He was the last man standing where his choice of brand endorsements was being discussed in management colleges. He endorsed very few classy brands like Titan and Tata Sky and Toyota.

But off late, there has been an inundation of Aamir Khan's presence on TV. I was quite dejected to see him running the streets giving T-shirts to junk food eating people and requesting them to eat 'baked, not fried' low cal biscuits(Parle). And soon, he'll be selling motorcycles to us! Where's the fit? John Abraham and Yamaha is understood as he is a self confessed bike enthusiast.

When Aamir Khan signed on to sell Mahindra bikes, I sang 'Another One Bites The Dust'. On the contrary should I say, 'The Last One Bites The Dust" ???

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Awaiting your comments
Aamir