Why Do Women Remain in Self-Detrimental Relationships?

Few of us were having a conversation about relationships and why do some girls/women end up in not so loving relationship. For my post, the relationship (partner) to be considered is between a woman with her boyfriend, husband or live-in.

These were a few questions and some general statements that we discussed:

• When in a relationship, how and why do they (female friends) change so much?
• Are we right being perplexed, yet concerned for our lady friends?
• How and why do head strong ladies, too, get marginalized in a relationship? (Assumption being most women do)
• Why do girls (head strong too) fall for complete jerks? (Jerks here are selfish and manipulative bastards, hell bent to marginalize women)
• Why do jerks land up with good women?
• Nice guys finish last but they do get nice girls. (I felt this could be a self soothing and hopeful statement)

This was my my insight for these not-so-grave, yet solemn questions.

I usually am good, at observing human behavior and supplement myself, sometimes by reading about it too. We human beings are complex creatures because of our complex brains which is a self destructive combination of logic and emotions, which are never perfectly balanced. I believe some of us are balanced, but that too, only few instances in a day.

The questions had no single answer. The answers are very subjective rather than being objective; subjective not from my perspective, but from the perspective of any lady in the above given questions/situations.

• When in a relationship, how and why do they (female friends) change so much?

How can a person change so much? I really don’t know! Human behavior is unpredictably irrational at times; which, the person realizes, only in retrospect.

• Are we right being perplexed, yet concerned for our lady friends?

Yes.  But I think one may be over reacting. What they do as a couple is their business. One is not trying to find faults; one is just being thoughtful as a friend who genuinely cares and concerns and hence one may be noticing her too much and trying to find out answers. But frankly my dear, don’t give a damn! 

• How and why do head strong ladies, too, get marginalized in a relationship? (Assumption being most women do)

There can be an unending assortment of reasons spread over the table of difficulties of women! But in Indian context, it could definitely be the concept of ‘sacrifice’ for the good of the husband/family.

• Why do girls (head strong too) fall for complete jerks? (Jerks here are selfish and manipulative bastards, hell bent to marginalize women)

As far as settling for jerks as husbands, the only good reason I think is that they maybe ‘better’ bread winners. ‘Better’ in financial terms and the kind of social standing their ‘family’ has in the ‘society’! Apart from this I see no sense. This is surely a fact, which probably, none of the women will express openly. And if there is, I still haven’t found it. 

• Why do jerks land up with good women?

A woman will not settle down with a jerk boyfriend but there is a high probability that she may settle down with a jerk guy via arranged marriage due to at least, the one reason, I cited above.  (There maybe more reasons) If she remains (bf/husband/live-in) with a jerk she knows, then surely something is wrong with the lady, emotionally! Or maybe the sex is just so great that rest doesn’t matter!

• Nice guys finish last but they do get nice girls.

Read the statement again. Read!!! Have you read it? If you’re a nice guy, you would know that you finish LAST.  But as the world says and is trying to condition us by saying positive things about blah blah blah blah blah… yes you’ll get some nice girl and eventually settle down and blah blah blah blah… Got it? So feel what ever you want to feel. (My perspective)

The concern with guys like us is that we think a lot, are well read, socially aware, don’t have standard opinions, will always go with the right side as we don’t follow factions of thought processes and hence choose to believe and more-or-less stay balanced in spite of the observed prevalent irregularities which highly perplexes us.

Thinking is something that is deep rooted and we’re a rare kind in today’s society which just doesn’t think. I don’t know if I’m too bold to acknowledge that we are the last league of ‘gentlemen’ in our times, at least in the immediate society we stay in.

I’m not an anti-feminist, pro-feminist, male-chauvinist, or any other god forsaken adjective used to describe men or women. I’m just plain-fucking-nice!

Why Adam(Man) Is Simpler Than Eve(Woman)?

Man has been the simpler than woman since God decided to mould some clay and breathe life into it to call the man as Adam and the woman as Eve.

God gifted the beautiful Garden of Eden and asked them to stay there and enjoy in their naked tranquility. There was once simple thing to do - God told them not to eat the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge. Peace.

Now this is what must have happened with Adam and Eve. (The following scene is fictionalized)  

Adam: This is just so cool. All I have to do is just roam around, eat and pray and enjoy life. Nothing to do. I love God. He made it so simple for us. And as far as the Tree of Knowledge is concerned, I'll never go near it. Wait! Where's Eve.........shit.....

And just around the Tree of Knowledge was Eve 'talking' to herself: (Moving her hands through her head and checking her image in the nearby pond) Gosh!!! It's so boring here. All I have to do is talk to myself. I hate thinking. Thinking is so like....Adam. He hardly talks! I'm Eve. I like talking. I wish there was someone whom I could talk to. I wonder what the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge tastes like. Yaaa! I wish there was someone who could tell me what to do. The Garden of Eden is awesome, but I'm sure the Forbidden Fruit is the most awesome, that's why God kept reserved it for Him/Her-self (Just in case some feminist pops up and says God is a Woman :p) Oh, how I wish I could talk to someone...it's so boring...

The Serpent near the Tree of Knowledge was listening to Eve's rants. FYI, the serpent has the ability to speak and reason and is identified with the wisdom of this world. (Some people joke that the reasoning ability was not required as he was speaking to Eve; all he had to do was 'talk'...hehehe) 

Serpent to Eve: Yo wassup baby? Damn....you're hot! How you doing? (And then the Serpent checked Eve out from top to bottom. I think he had tasted the Forbidden Fruit)

Eve to Serpent: Wow...I have company..yoohoo! What are you? Who are you? What's your name? Where do you stay? Wanna have lunch with me? Do you know what the Forbidden Fruit tastes like?

Serpent to Eve: Slow down girl...I'm just a serpent, not a woman! Well, all I know is that the Forbidden Fruit is actually not forbidden. It's the best fruit of the Garden and ......................

......... as soon as Serpent was about to give the reason...Eve plucked a fruit and had a bite, and at that moment Adam came. As soon as she gulped the morsel she looked at Adam and ....

Eve to Adam: Well hello, handsome! I never knew you were soooooo HOT...this fruit has made me 'look' at you in a different light. Winking to the Serpent, if you know what I mean? ;)

Adam (sighing): Why did you eat it Eve? Why? There were 6.384 billion types of fruits in the Garden. I just tasted a few hundred and you had to screw this up...why? It was so SIMPLE...God told not to eat the Forbidden Fruit, but you did exactly the opposite. Now God will throw us out. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Now what? Ah shit! Because you tasted the Forbidden Fruit, both of us are gonna be thrown out, might as well take a bite..

And Adam takes a bite....and then he realises why Eve was finding him HOT! And then God shouted and they covered their modesty with some leaves.... and the rest is history! (Well, God was pissed off and he cursed the Serpent and demoted Adam and Eve to Earth and we cribbed unhappily ever after)

All the first man and woman had to do was chill...that too in the Garden of Paradise! But, the woman could not understand one SIMPLE instruction and screwed it up for both men and women, and we all are here on Earth, still the same. Men making life simple and women tangling and complicating stuff. 

I'm not a misogynist. It's just that....it's a fact that women have to accept that they love to complicate things and men are simpler. And don't blame me, it's a problematic 'quality' passed on to the female DNA by Eve. 

Why Women Want Commitment And Men Dread It ???

In a relationship the woman wants commitment and the man dreads from the big ‘C’ (commitment). There are a lot of ‘relationship experts’ who have hundreds of cure for men to turn from commitment-phobic to commitment devotee, but none works. The men have just one problem with the women, that is, commitment.

Commitment to one woman doesn’t exist in a man’s dictionary! We men are admirers of ‘women’, not ‘a woman’, though there are some exceptions where the man commits himself to a woman right from the start. The majority of the men, however, just accept sticking to one woman, quite late.

Men are labeled dogs because they hop from one woman to another time and again. We are pure admirers of beauty; we just can’t resist the womankind. Besides, if the man leaves a woman for another woman, then the woman should blame the woman! Competition is always there. It’s not the man’s fault! We are weak creatures. We are either in search of new adventures (men who actively search for new women) or just plain curious (when a woman approaches us).

Anyway, enough of this stupid justification! Why are men the way they are? Why are women the way they are? I have a simple answer!

A girl grows up to be a woman with stories of a (mark it’s ‘a’) prince charming on a white horse who will sweep her off the feet and they’ll live happily ever after in their magical kingdom. Right?

The story for the boys is a little twisted!

A boy grows up to be a man with stories of Casanova stealing the hearts of so many women. (Please mark, its ‘women’) For a man, Hugh Hefner (Playboy founder) is the ultimate MAN!!! (For obvious reasons – Playboy mansion full of young girls strutting in their birthday suits!!! It can’t better than this) Men all over the world are just proud of Mr. Hef for living an ultimate man’s life! FYI, he is 80 and currently has 6 Playboy bunnies as his girlfriends with an average age of less than 20!

So you see, the basic psychology towards the opposite gender is completely opposite! Women want one man and men can’t think of being with just one!

So men and women, lets not blame each other! Let’s blame the society for putting stories into our head which messes us up. (: p)

Why a Guy would want to remain a Guy

I have been following Nupur's blog since quite sometime. Recently she re-posted an old post Why a Guy Would Want to be a Girl. 


This is what I have to say that 'Why a Guy would want to remain a Guy'. My post is not as exhaustive as her's for the simple reason, that guys are minimalistic and most guys will swear by the points mentioned below.

• We don't care a shit about sophistication.
• We don't have to wear MAKE UP to look good. A simple grooming session of shaving, bathing, decent clothing and perfume suffices
• In terms of choices for Clothes, life is simple for us.
• For us there are only 7 basic (rainbow) colours in the world. Peach is and will always be a fruit!

• We love to FART. (till we die and every MAN swears by its entertainment value) 

• We enjoy BURPING (and can compete during any life stage to enjoy ourselves)

And the Best for the Last

• We can scratch WHEREVER and WHENEVER and  it itches!

Even James Bond does it!